Saturday, January 17, 2009


As we end another eight disastrous years of straight men running the world, with the most impressive thing to show for it being a little device that lets you run a program called Wobbles which animates a "wobble" onto photos of women with overly large breasts, I have to wonder -- what in the hell are we thinking?

Clearly these guys have impaired judgment. They can't run financial institutions, or auto companies, or governments; at least not without causing bankruptcies, frauds, and wars, so why are we letting them run things? Sure they are great in the sack, or so I'm told, but that doesn't mean we have to hand them the keys to the kingdom.

If you have at your disposal an entertaining source of propagation, but who can't balance a column of numbers, who can't tell the truth, and who can't talk to the neighbors with getting into a fight, well, then the rational solution is to just keep them at home, naked, and chained to the bedpost. What's wrong with that? After all, that's essentially what they did with women for, like since -- FOREVER.

Really, what could it hurt?

Would it really be all that damaging to run companies at a fair profit without the goal of destroying every competitor by any means, and without bilking investors and taxpayers out of billions of dollars? Would it really hurt to let us "creative types" actually run things, like car companies, rather than to just design their interiors? How exactly would the world be worse off if it was run by guys who would rather make love with each other than to kill each other?

I wobble at the concept, and so should you, because if you think a straight black guy with power is going to be any saner than a long line of straight white guys with power, than I have a nice deal on a mortgage for you: no money down, no points, zero interest for the first five years until the rate adjusts up with inflation -- and you don't even have to qualify! Just sign here: _______________________________.

No comments: